Stay Gone
by NemKess
Summary: warnings: shonen ai, angst. Shuichi learns to live without Yuki.


Title: Stay Gone  
Author/pseudonym: NemKess  
song by: Jimmy Wayne  
Fandom: Gravitation  
Pairing: Yuki/Shuichi  
Rating: PG  
Status: complete  
E-mail address for feedback:: nemsmuses@msn.com  
  


Disclaimers: I'm not sure who Gravitation belongs to really... I just know that it ain't me. I get no money for this. My only reward is momentary silence from the voices in my head. ^_~

  
Notes: I've always wanted Shuichi to be stronger. Don't get me wrong, I really do like Yuki, and normally I wouldn't do this to him... but I just couldn't help myself. ^_^  
  
Summary: When Yuki leaves again, Shuichi moves on   
Warnings: angst. no happy ending for Yuki 

~*~*~ 

Shindo Shuichi and Yuki Eerie had been a couple for about three years when the younger man had come home from a national tour to find their shared apartment cleared out of all his lover's belongings. 

Having thought that Yuki had finally come to accept their relationship as a good and permanent thing, Shu-chan couldn't have been more surprised and upset if someone had suddenly announced that there would be no more pocky made- ever. 

For months he searched for the man he loved, oblivious to the media frenzy he was leaving in his wake. 

For months he walked about Tokyo with a hopeless expression, barely able to function without the man who'd come to mean more to him than oxygen. 

For months he sobbed his poor heart out every night before drifting into nightmare filled sleep. 

For months he died a little each morning when he woke to find himself still alone. 

Then one morning, he smiled at one of his best friend's lame jokes. 

A few weeks later, he was actually able to sing again without breaking down in the middle of his songs. 

A year after Yuki disappeared from his life, Shuichi and his band recorded another album. 

And if the once hyperactive j-pop star was more sedate, more serious, and all his smiles were a little on the sad side... well... At least no one had to worry that he'd throw himself off Tokyo Tower anymore. 

He'd finally figured out that there was life after Yuki. 

  
_ I found peace of mind,   
I'm feeling good again   
I'm on the other side,  
back among the living   
Ain't a cloud in the sky,   
all my tears have been cried   
And I can finally say_

Time passed as it is wont to do. 

Seasons came and went, albums were recorded, concerts preformed. 

And one day, about two years after Yuki had left him, Shuichi and Hiro walked by a bookstore proudly claiming to have Yuki Erie's newest best-selling book. 

The pink haired young man paused to rest a hand on the glass for only a moment, age old grief lurking in his eyes, before turning and walking away, his friend trailing along behind him. 

The press began hounding him again, asking about their old relationship, but it was one of the few things that Shuichi would never share with his fans. If inquiring minds wanted to know, he was quite adamant that they should go ask Yuki. 

He did not ask if anyone knew where the writer was. 

  
_Baby, baby stay,   
stay right where you are   
I like it this way,  
it's good for my heart   
I haven't felt like this  
in God knows how long   
I know everything's gonna be ok   
If you just stay   
gone_

Three years after he'd found himself alone and six years to the day that he'd first met the bitter young romance novelist, Shuichi received a single pink rose and a note asking him to go to the park. 

Even after all the time that had passed, he still recognized the elegant scrawl and he felt the familiar waves of love and pain welling up inside his heart. For a few minutes, he actually considered going. 

He didn't. 

_I still love you,  
and I will forever   
We can't hide the truth,   
we know each other better   
When we try to make it work,   
we both end up hurt   
And it ain't supposed to be that way_

Days later at his next concert, while looking out over the crowd, he spotted the familiar crown of gold. It had never mattered how many people were around or how far apart they'd been, Shuichi had always had a sixth sense when it came to Yuki. In a room packed with a thousand people, his eyes would always go straight for the one who held his heart so carelessly.

Turning away with a grimace, he let Hiro and Fujisaki know to play the new song he'd just written instead of the one that they'd normally play. It was a haunting melody about the pain and loneliness of being a love abandoned and finding the strength to go on alone. It told of learning to stand on ones own two feet and how, even if you never stopped loving someone, you never could go back.

_Baby, baby stay,   
stay right where you are   
I like it this way,  
it's good for my heart   
I haven't felt like this  
in God knows how long   
I know everything's gonna be ok   
If you just stay   
gone_

And when the song was over, and Shuichi looked back over the crowd, Yuki was gone. 

The audience in general might have been confused about the new song, but the only one who mattered had gotten the message loud and clear. 

Shuichi would never love anyone but Yuki Erie.

But he'd never get back on that particular roller coaster of love and pain again.

_When we try to make it work,   
we both end up hurt   
Love ain't supposed to be that way   
I know everything's gonna be ok   
If you just stay gone_


End file.
